LOVE & GUILT

AUG 31, 2020

Lately my daughter has been pushing ALL my buttons.

You give her cold water, she wants hot water. You give her the hot water, she wants the cold water. You give her toast with butter, she wants toast with jam. You give her the toast with jam, she wants the toast with butter. Her underwear is “too big”, now it’s “too small”. She wants to wear socks, but not those socks. Or those socks. Nope, not those socks either.

She has relentlessly been after our animals, which is an hourly battle trying to teach her boundaries with the animals. To be honest, everyday for the past few weeks has been a battle over everything. You try so hard to calmly talk to them and try and figure out what isn’t right in their toddler reality, but after battle 12 before it’s even lunch you start to unravel as a parent. The next battle is a raised voice, anger, frustration and tears on both ends, and lastly feeling like shit after it’s all said and done. If I could describe motherhood for myself in two words, it would be “guilt” and “love”. Loving her like no one else in this world, and constantly feeling guilt for not being the best version of me for her.

How would you describe motherhood, or fatherhood, for yourself in just two words? Why those words?