ONE YEAR.

OCT 02, 2019

In typical Meg fashion, I’m a day late on stating the obvious. It’s October. How’d that happen right?

Yesterday also marked 1 year of being a working mom. Not that kind of working mom, the kind who goes to an office from 9 to 5. Just in case there was a blurred line there.

I’m not going to sugar coat, or pretend it’s been easy. Though, when have I ever sugar coated anything on this platform?

This past year, has been my most challenging, mind you there has been other factors involved in this last year to make it a challenge, but being a mom who works fulltime is the most everyday challenge.

I’m exhausted all the time.

I have zero alone time, which I have always thoroughly enjoyed.

No matter how prepared I try to be, most days we’re running out the door in chaos.

I lose my patience with my daughter often. More often then I care to admit to myself, which is worse the admitting it to others…

I live with feelings of guilt for losing my patience on her, for not spending enough time with her, for missing out on everything she’s doing, for not being the best mom.

I worry at work people see me as distracted, missing too many hours if my daughter gets sick, has an appointment etc.

I chose this picture, as it was our last weekday walk of my maternity leave. We took a walk pretty much everyday when I was on mat leave. Everyone would either be at work or in school, so it really felt like just her and I in this big ol’ world on those walks.

Looking at this picture brings up an array of emotions, mostly a sense of mourning that time we had together.

Mourning the mom I felt I was then.

Mourning how different life was, in so many aspects, one year ago yesterday.

I’m not sure it’s so much being a working mother that is the challenge.

I think maybe, it’s just how much change has happened in just 12 months that is the challenge....