PREGNANCY & BIRTH STORY.
SEPT 10, 2019
Today is my little’s 2nd birthday, man does time fly fast. It’s exciting to see her grow, but it’s sad to know how fast the last 2 years have flown by.
In honour of her birthday, I thought I’d share a little about my pregnancy and birth story, though compared to most birth stories, mine is really drama free and probably kind of boring. I just thought, even if no one ever reads this post, I have it for me. I’m not sure I’ll have another child, so this may be my only pregnancy and birth story to share. I honestly wish I had written about it right after she was born, as there are so many details I can’t recall now. Any other mom’s feel like that? The details of your pregnancy and birth just disappear as time passes.
My pregnancy, thank goodness, was complication free. After having a miscarriage, it took us about 2 years to get pregnant again and that was with a little assistance from fertility doctors. I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve, via a voicemail from the fertility clinic! That was then followed by more blood tests to confirm HCG levels were climbing and a very early ultrasound for the fertility doctor to review and then meet with us. At that follow up appointment we were told the pregnancy didn’t look viable, as the embryo was to small. Basically, my biggest and worst fear if I ever got pregnant again was happening. I couldn’t even talk to my husband in the parking lot, we met there, as I just wanted to get the fuck away from that place. We were told to come back in a few weeks, if I hadn’t miscarried by then, for a follow up ultrasound.
I found this candle just after my miscarriage in my favourite spiritual store. It was the only “Grief” candle there and read “This burden on my heart is too heavy to hold. I allow my spirit to grieve the loss of this dream. I allow my tears to cleanse me, freeing me from these crippling emotions. I release my expectations of the future and embrace the gifts this challenge has given me.” We lit this candle on the due date of that lost baby. I then wanted to incorporate that baby with my maternity photo’s, and this seemed the best way to do so.
As devastated as I felt about the news, there was just something in my body that didn’t believe it. I guess that’s the whole mother instinct kicking in? The next ultrasounds showed baby had grown, heartbeat was strong and baby was probably just going to be small. I also had started “morning” sickness, which my doctor said was a great sign.
I remember in my first pregnancy, feeling somewhat nauseous and then it just stopped, which the miscarriage followed shortly after. To me, feeling sick meant baby was doing well and told me I was still pregnant. I guess I manifested that thought a bit to much for this pregnancy, because your girl was sick all 9 months. Not even joking. I threw up more the first week of my 2nd trimester then I did the first. For those who’ve read the “what to expect when expecting” books, you’d know the 2nd trimester is supposed to be when “morning” sickness stops! I was not functional and tried every natural remedy to help me out, to no avail. I finally had to go on prescribed medications for the rest of my pregnancy. Even on the meds I was nauseous, but at least it kept what food I did eat down. I couldn’t even drink water without feeling sick, I lived off Perrier sparkling water. I’d buy it by caseloads from Costco. It literally makes me sick to look at a Perrier label now.
As my fertility doctor predicted, baby was on the small side most of my pregnancy. Since baby was so small I had more ultrasounds then most, which was actually comforting to me and allowed us to see baby more often. However, I guess baby decided they didn’t want to be on camera anymore, or that being small was boring and during a one week period doubled in size. I went from gaining 1 pound a week to 6 in that one week period between ultrasounds! This baby wasn’t even born yet, but they were constantly rising up to the challenge of the skeptics or concerns. I knew he or she would be a tough one once they were born. Oh, and yes, we did not find out the gender of our baby, much to my husband and my mother’s disappointment. Actually, much to literally everyone’s disappointment but my own. This is the biggest surprise of your life, I didn’t want to know ahead of time.
Both my fertility doctor and OB agreed baby’s due date was September 7th. I went in a week before my due date for my regular OB appointment, and she said I was already 1cm dilated. She was on call that weekend and was very confident she’d see me at the hospital. The weekend came and went, no baby. My due date came and went no baby and I was still only 1cm dilated on my actual due date. She was hopeful I’d still go into labour naturally, but scheduled an induction for the 14th of September. I really, really did not want the induction, so I did everything I could to get this baby to come out. I would steep raspberry leaf tea bags like ALL day, then mix it with my Perrier and drink it. Honestly, if I drank the tea as is I’d get sick. I bounced on my bosu ball every night, walked a lot and went for acupuncture at my naturopath’s.
In between all of this and my two OB appointments, my husband’s grandfather sadly passed away. His funeral was on the 9th of September. I was hoping to either give birth on my actual due date, that way my husband could still attend the funeral, or give birth after. Since the due date came and went, you better believe I was holding those legs closed tight until after that funeral! At around 10pm that night, after the funeral, cramping started. I remember texting with my best friend saying “I don’t know I might be in labour, I have some cramping that’s getting worse” To which she replied “I’m pretty sure that’s labour”. She told me to get rest, which was smart because there would be no sleeping after that. The cramping just got worse and worse and my husband was trying to time contractions, but I told him I couldn’t tell him when one was starting or ending because there was just constant pain. There was no relief, maybe slight, but nothing major that signified a start and end of a contraction. I thought this was normal labour, but seeing Sarah Day’s birth vlog in between her contractions she had plenty of time to chat to the camera and her boyfriend etc with zero pain. I had NONE of that. We called the hospital because the contractions, again hard to time, but seemed erratic. They asked how long I’d been like that, I think my husband called around 2am, which they replied “well we won’t admit her so try running a warm bath for her”. I was pretty much warm bathing nightly, so I had used up all the hot hot water earlier and my bath was lukewarm and very unhelpful. As quickly as I got in, I got out to go lie back down in bed, but before I could make it I threw up, a lot, in the sink. My husband was like, forget this we’re going. He remembered from our “Birthing Without Fear” class that the body starts expelling your stomach contents in preparation for birth.
This is the day I went into labour, I hadn’t taken a photo of me and the bump in the nursery and demanded one that day.
Through the non-stop contraction pain I was able to walk, or waddle, my pregnant butt to the 2nd floor of the hospital to the birthing wing. They took my information and sent us back to the “waiting area”. I have to say thank goodness we were the only pregnant couple there, and in the triage wing after. I ended up throwing up a ton more in the waiting room, until someone finally came to see us. They stuck the heart monitor and contraction monitor on, and it wasn’t just my husband and I thinking contractions were erratic. The machine was reading it too, and I never had contractions longer then 3 minutes and 15 seconds. However, I was only 2cm dilated when the on call OB checked me! To say I was pretty deflated would be an understatement. My husband has a child from a previous relationship and this scenario of 2cm dilated happened with her birth, except they sent them home. So, here’s my husband, getting up from the chair and saying “ok, so we’ll come back in a few hours.” The doctor sort of looked at him, and said “no, we’re admitting her. She just won’t get a room until she’s 4cm dilated.” I’m telling you, all the throwing up in the surveillance waiting room got me admitted. The staff was probably, “well she’s a liability if we send her home”.
After the OB check in I got those lovely mesh panties, hospital gown and a shot in my bum of morphine and Gravol. Gravol helped stop me from throwing up, and the morphine allowed for relief between the very short periods of time in between those contractions. Something I didn’t know prior to birth, not all contractions are the same intensity. I’d have some where I could just keep lying down and breath through it, when another would literally make me jump up in the bed because the pain was so intense.
My memory on timing is foggy, but I believe we got to the hospital just before 4am, or I was checked by the OB at 4am when I was told I was only 2cm? Anyhow, I wasn’t checked again until 7:30ish am and thank the lord I was 5cm! I was getting a room, and when asked if I wanted the epidural I replied with a very enthusiastic “yes please.” Up until going into labour I wasn’t sure about epidural, but there’s no way I could have enjoyed my labour and delivery the way I did without it. To all you who do it without epidural, I’m not sure if I’m in awe of you, or just think you’re utterly insane! We then walked over to my birthing suite, which my nurse was pretty impressed about. Not sure if she just say’s that to all mom’s to be, but it made me feel pretty bad ass. I was lucky to get the epidural almost immediately and instant relief of contraction pain. Both my nurse, who we had all day, and the anesthesiologist were so wonderful. For whatever reason, at the hospital I was at, dad to be has to leave while you get the epidural. Something to do with the room being sterile, anyhow given my contractions were non-stop and my focal point in the room was my husband’s eyes, I was lost for not concentrating on the pain when he had to leave. Both my nurse and the anesthesiologist were so helpful to get me through a few contractions before administering the epidural. At one point they asked if I knew what I was having, I answered no and said “but I think it’s a girl”. They asked why and my literal reply was “because it’s being such a bitch”. I’m horrible, but they had a good laugh about it.
After epidural my labour was wonderful. I was able to chit chat with my husband, my nurse, catch some winks of sleep, eat jello, watch TV. I never wanted to be completely numb, so I could still feel the contraction pressure and touches to my legs etc. I just needed the edge of extreme pain off. My water never broke on it’s own, the OB on call had to break it. After that I went from 5cm to 9cm in less then half an hour, I was super excited to think baby would be here soon. Wrong. That last cm took HOURS to reach. Finally around 4pm Sunday, I was 10cm and able to start pushing. After about an hour and half of pushing, our daughter was born! She was 6lbs 13 oz and I can’t remember her length. Terrible mom here, I know. She had long thin limbs, a full head of brownish/reddish hair and the cutest wide flat nose. They immediately put her on my chest after my husband cut the umbilical cord. My husband was talking and this girl was on my chest looking for her dad. Daddy’s girl right at birth. After spending a good few hours of quality time with her, we brought in the waiting family to meet her. She basically slept through all of that.
I remember clearly, after being moved to my room for the night, our first moments together just alone. My husband had gone home to shower, poor guy had been up for over 24 hours at that point. The nurse laid her on my chest for skin to skin, and that little nugget was trying to lift her head up. As I had said through my entire pregnancy, this baby was going to be strong.
I still can’t believe she’s here sometimes, I just stare in awe at her. She is a blessing in every single way, even when she’s ripping at my last nerve.
